Don't you hate it when you're expected to grow before you wanna? This trend precedes with a fancy two-liner about life that everyone can relate to. Not to forget the pictures portraying either money or humility as the background. But you can't deny that it happens all the time. Every time you're expected to do so, it's like –

To yourself – why? already?

The best part of it all is the fact that it always happens at the most perfect times. You're almost completely blind-sided and boom! Or is it baam?

Apparently, it happens to everyone, so I've heard. All the time. Today I wound up exactly there. Asking questions to myself as if I'm the only one experiencing hell - life itself. But am certain that this time it's special. One might wonder how? I know you're not interested and whatnot, but you've gotta hear me out. I remember the first time this ever happened.

Sitting at the leftmost seat at the table for dinner. I knew they had fought cause the tears had gone skiing with the mascara trails all over her face. He was not making any conversation. This was the situation for the entire week. But everyone there was a civilized cause of a foreign presence. A guy in a suit sitting right across me. I wondered who he was. A couple of weeks later I realized he was the one for my mom and not my dad. I hated that guy and, in that week, I thought whatever problems they had would eventually get resolved. But I understand now that even though that was the shittiest thing a parent could do, she didn't want to settle for something she didn't truly want. It's no consolation that this was extremely unfair to dad. He had no choice but to call a truce and not force a relationship, dare I say marriage. But that guy! He had nothing to remorse about. It was a win-win on his end. No suffering at all. He was getting all he wanted with others paying the price. That's the day it hit me – "everything costs and the form of payment is not always money." He was getting it for free. Am guessing this was my queue to grow up. Soon followed by hatred came curiosity, as to how it would feel to be that guy. And how hard would it have been for him to not ruin a family and give up the love of his life – at least that's what he claims. I always tried to be there for my father. But he couldn't share how or what he truly felt. That would probably be because of the 30 years of an age gap. All he used to say was "it's complicated". We eventually kinda grew apart.

I continued hating that guy and I definitely found ways to cope with it. My mom would be running second on the list. Weird enough, that sentiment changed cause I stopped blaming her for her choice. Nah! I didn't grow up then, I just found out something which wasn't evident to me before. My mom's decision was probably based on something else entirely. Her husband was driving on the other side of the road. And by that, I certainly don't mean he was British in any way. He preferred spending the rest of his life in the show biz. They both made their choices and by this time I was the only one paying. He had his lifestyle; she had her own life. He traveled and she became a famous writer. Me? I don't know much about that yet. I certainly haven't had the need to grow up just yet.

It's what, 2003 now. Approximately, 20 years later. I won't say I am a lost cause. I've got gems for friends, a good-paying job, and a beautiful (in her own way) girlfriend. I wouldn't want my life to be anything else than what it is. I think I've reached the level of content deep within that I might as well settle down. But, and of course, there is a but. Things might be slightly complicated. You know what the funny part is - both the times I've used that word (complicated), they're for the same situation. The only difference being that I am "the guy" and my girlfriend's husband isn't gay. Today, I officially forgive that guy cause I didn't let my decision ruin a family. Yes! I left Janice for nothing else but one reason. It's cause I grew up.

-Chandler Bing

p.s. There were a lot of grey areas in the show FRIENDS related to this, so I made some convenient changes.